It'sa Mario Kart!
by Kara Tezla
Summary: When Sage alerted the team to a new storm shock, the last thing they expected was to end up in an actual race.


**It's-a Mario Kart!: A Battle Force 5 Fic  
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I don't own a thing.

It's been a while since I've cranked out a fic, and I've been on a Mario Kart kick lately. So, enjoy!

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><p>When Sage alerted the team to a new storm shock, the last thing they expected was to end up in an actual race.<p>

The finish line was painted across the road yards in front of their vehicles as they idled. It hadn't mattered that they had accelerated all the way into the storm—as soon as they were through, their cars slowed on their own, eventually stopping all together. They all revved their engines in an attempt to move forward, but all that resulted was a massive cloud of dark smoke that their tires created as they spun in place.

"Spinner! Sherman!" Vert said after the smoke had cleared. "What's going on? Are we stuck in some sort of trap?"

Sherman's fingers were busy, running over the consoles in the Buster as he analyzed the battle zone around them. "There is some sort of magnetic field coming from above us. I can't tell what it is… I've never seen anything like this before."

There was a sharp crackling as two more storm shocks opened up behind the five cars.

"Oh great," groaned Stanford. "We're sitting ducks."

Kalus was the first through, roaring when he saw the members of Battle Force 5 waiting for him on the other side. Zemerick emerged from his portal only seconds later.

"Puny bipedals!" Kalus shouted. "I shall get… to the…" he faded out as his tires, like those of the team of humans before him, started to spin in the field, leaving him stuck only feet away from the Sabre. He smashed at his makeshift dashboard with a massive, curled paw.

"We're all stuck!" Spinner said, clutching the back of Sherman's chair. "Get us out of here, bro! Before Kalus comes to his senses and gets out of his car!"

"Hey, Vert," Zoom said, "something weird is happening to the Sark."

Sure enough, the force field seemed to be tampering with the machines' hardware. Zemerick seemed to be twitching. Zug shuddered as color flashed through his outer shell, turning him from green to brown in a matter of moments. Zoom thought he was seeing things when a red tie rippled to life on the big machine's chest.

Zemerick's thin frame did the same, suddenly bursting with pink and yellow. A small digital crown flickered on the side of his head. A spark flew from his jaw as it unhinged and realigned into a curious smile. He didn't even notice as the rest of the Sark cars shut down around him.

"The magnetic field is changing!" Sherman said.

"Look!" Vert pointed into the air as one of the clouds in the sky descended over them, a thin smile streaking across its lumpy face. It bounced and hovered at the front of all the stalled cars.

"Heee-e-e-e-ey," Spinner said, his voice moving up several octaves. He held his hands up in front of him as white gloves peeled themselves over his fingers. He was dressed in red and blue, and before he could say anything, a hat several sizes too big settled itself on his head, sinking over his eyes.

The rest of the team—the Vandals, too—found themselves in similar situations. The cloud smiled wider, pulling a set of lights from within itself. Every car idling before it rang with happy notes as it hit the side.

"Three!" a voice said. "Two! One!"

Sherman barely had time to turn to his brother and say, "Doesn't this remind you of Mario Kart?" before the voice finished with "Go!"

"Let's go!" Zemerick giggled in an uncomfortably high voice. Zelix's tires caught on the pavement and it took off in a pink streak. Zug followed with a grunt, barreling through the line of cars in front of him.

There was a moment of silence as everyone else recovered, and then Spinner started hitting the back of Sherman's seat. "It's-a race! Go, go, go, go!"

And then they were off.

Zug and Zemerick were already around the first corner when the other ten cars started to move.

"It's-a like Mario Kart!" Spinner squeaked. "Hey-a guys! Hit those boxes!"

Ahead, a line of five colorful boxes floated in the road.

"Are you-a sure?" Vert said.

Zoom—now green instead of yellow, with orange spots on his back and all over the Chopper—accelerated ahead of the pack. Behind him, the Sabre and the Tangler bumped and fought for position with the Vandals. As the Chopper ran into the box, it exploded into color, a saddlebag appearing on the bike just above Zoom's knee.

Spinner went nuts in the back of the Buster. "Open it! See what it-a is!"

"Drive!" Sherman told him. He was wearing blue overalls and a red shirt. A giant, curving mustache dominated his upper lip.

The cars weaved through the turns. Only a few of them had gotten to drive through the boxes.

"I got a turtle shell," Zoom said. "A green turtle shell. Man, these things are worthless."

"Throw it!" Spinner shouted.

Zoom turned in his seat, and tossed it at the nearest Vandal like a Frisbee. Hatch swerved out of the way as the shell hit the road in front of him, causing Krocomodo to hit it instead. The off-roading sentient crocodile flew up in the air, spinning end over end as the rest of the vehicles drove around him.

Spinner cheered.

"Does anybody else find these costumes ridiculous?" Stanford said. "This hat is messing up my hair."

"We-a got a blue shell," Sherman said, lifting a hefty, spiked bowl off the floor.

Spinner's eyes widened. "I'm-a gonna throw it."

He unlatched top of the Buster, holding on to his hat as the wind tried to claw it away. Less than a hundred feet ahead, Zemerick's pink car passed under the smiling cloud with the sign that had a massive "2" on it. Spinner lifted the shell out into the wind, but before he could throw it, it flew out of his hand.

"I lost it!" Spinner admitted as he ducked back into the Buster.

Just then, the shell seemed to catch on something, going up in silvery flame. It shot past all the cars and shot like a seeker missile headed for the bumper of Zemerick's vehicle.

There was a collective "whoa" as the robot shot into the air—the shockwave sending Zug tumbling into the guard rail. The rest of the drivers shot past with Zoom edging into first place.

In the back of the pack, Stanford noticed a shiny black case about as long as his arm resting on the floor of the passenger's side seat. On the outside of the cylinder, a bullet smiled at him with stark white teeth as if to say, "Come on, I'm harmless. Pick me up."

Stanford's mouth turned up as he returned the smile, noting the small red button on the end with an arrow pointing toward it. Keeping one eye on the road, he adjusted the massive red and white hat on his head, pulling it back so it didn't cover his eyes. The bullet kept grinning as the group rounded the 360 degree turn back to the finish line for the final lap.

"Push the button, Stanford," the grin said.

Stanford couldn't help himself as he reached down, using his index finger to push the button into the cylinder. That was when all hell broke loose.

The Brit was plastered into his seat by the g-force as the car took off above the road. The Reverb barreled through the crowd of drivers, sending them flying in all different directions as he took the turns at a speed he never thought possible. He didn't even have time to scream.

A split second later, his dashboard notified him that he was in first place, and the finish line banner waved not but a hundred yards from the nose of his vehicle. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other on his floppy hat, Stanford rode a wave of confidence to the finish line.

"I won!" he exclaimed, his voice cracking. His car seemed to take over for him as he cheered, turning along with the road.

"Well, at least that's-a over," Vert sighed. "Is everybody alright? Agura? You haven't said-a anything."

A storm shock opened up on the road ahead and they drove through it. There was a flash of light and then their cars started to slow.

In front of them, a finish line was painted on the road. They were on the side of a mountain. Vert stomped on the gas to no avail. They were in another realm, stuck in another force field.

He looked to his right as the Tangler pulled up next to him. Agura sat in a pink dress, a lopsided blond wig on her head. She glared through her windshield, and suddenly Vert understood why she wasn't talking.

The happy cloud sank out of the sky again. The voice rang through the cars. "Three! Two! One!"

"It's-a Mario Kart!" Spinner shouted with glee.

"Go!"


End file.
